"are there monsters here, Mum?"

[michelle_j_r]

Jordy (3+half) has been asking a lot about there being monsters around. He seems geniunely uncertain and afraid that there might be monsters outside and trying to get in and get him. He is asking lots of questions about what monsters are and are they real and will they really hurt him. He has started not liking me to leave the bed at night (like to get up and get Darcy's bottle).

It's been going for a few weeks but seems to be getting worse. I have tried a few different ways of reassuring him
- explaining that they are pretend
- reassured him that there were none here at our house
- said that even if there were that Bundy (dog) would get them
- told him i would keep him safe

but nothing seems to reassure him. I've tried to work out what might be bothering him but apart from the usual stuff he seems all good!

Anyone else had something that worked to reassure their little people? I know monsters are a normal fear but he seems to be getting more and more worried about it.

[jodiemiller]

Yeah, we've had this. I suppose there are two things going on. The runaway imagination of a three year old, plus a sense of disempowerment that feeds the fear. The remedy at this age always seems to go along the lines of


- reassured him that there were none here at our house
- said that even if there were that Bundy (dog) would get them
- told him i would keep him safe

but one step even better is to empower him. If you think about dreams and imaginings as metaphors for whatever is going on for him right now, the only remedy is to give him a means of beating the monster himself.

Maybe you could ask him what he would do if monsters were real and he saw a monster. Maybe he needs permission to put his evil plan into action. ;) Maybe he just wants a night light. :shrug


Or you could offer him 'arms' (a squirt bottle, or a magic wand or whatever he nominates - it could be a gun) or a magic spell or word ala Harry Potter. I have heard of people improvising 'monster spray' that a child can pick up and spray at a monster in the night, or spray the bed and everywhere before bed for 'monster protection'.

My four year old has 'scared of the dark' nights. Sometimes I play along. Sometimes I don't. She sleeps in a room with her sister and brothers, and we have a sensor light outside the bathroom that will come on if there's motion in the bedroom doorway, and she still finds something to be scared of.

[Hailstorm]

Yup we had the same thing with Haze, she would have nightmares about them, one night was really bad so I took her out of her room and put her in with Veg for a minute came back saying I had spoken to the monster, and he was really sorry for scaring her he was lost and looking for hs mum this helped her alot. We also had the monster spray for the mean scary ones (lavendar oil in water)

[Anju]

We went through this, twice. With E, I told her about them not being real and even if they were, Vader would chase them away, and anyway, Mummy's too grumpy for monsters to come near, they know it, so they wouldnt dare come in. Also I gave her a kiss soldier, a special kiss I put on the end of her nose that turned into a kiss soldier and would keep her safe at night.
WIth J, she just liked to pretend there were monsters, no fear there with her. Typcial J.

[Savannah]

We play monster games that involves DS 'getting' them. Spells, his wooden sword, special potions in a spray bottle, etc. It seems to have helped a lot and given him the outlet he needs to feel in control.

I have issues with the whole 'get them' idea, using force to get your way, having power over someone or something else, but that's a whole other thread...

[michelle_j_r]

the spray idea scares ME!!! I can just see Darcy getting it and spraying me in the middle of the night! LOL! But i love the idea. For some reason i had not thought that he might need a way to overpower the monsters himself (as opposed to me keeping him safe). He built a monster smashing machine but that was out of lego and so pulled apart when packed away so i might get something else for him to sleep with that scares away or kills monsters.

thanks thanks thanks!!!

[Hailstorm]

The spray we used smelled like poo to the monsters so it didn't hurt them just made them run away cos of the stench :2lol


Good Luck

[Rinelle]

We have the scared of monsters here too. I've done all that you've done Michelle, and it usually works eventually. I really like the idea of a way they can deal with the monsters themselves. Thanks Jodie!

[Karena]

We had this Harry to. I would let Harry use a can of fly spray as he was going to bed and told him that he only needed to use it once and all the monsters under the bed would go away. He would spray it as he was getting into bed and yell "go away monsters". It only lasted a few weeks and then he just needed to yell

[lizlea]

we had it briefly here too with Ben. We made a "special" magic wand that scared monsters away. He kept it beside his bed and could wave it around and tell the mosters to go away.

[michelle_j_r]

tried it last night
:)
initially i just started the idea that we needed a magical monster masher to scare them away or kill them and we talked about what monsters were scared off and made a few suggestions with things that he chatted about but always said no, that they would not work. Then i suggested the spray bottle (LOL! Was hoping something else might work!) and that seemed perfect apparently.

I could not find the regular water spray bottle that i thought we could use, but on the deck i found an almost empty plastic spray bottle of natural insect repellant (mostly tea tree oil or something), so we topped that up with water and then talked about what monsters would be scared of to make a magical monster potion. Salt and pepper scares monsters apparently! So in they went. I had to sidetrack him away from the milk and flour! But we smelt a whole clove and he thought that would scare a monster. And while looking in the spice container he got all excited about the cinnamon cos he remembered me telling him that cinnamon was crazy magical cos you can't swallow it and it gets stuck in your mouth and so in went the cinnamon so it would get stuck in the monsters mouth and they would not be able to eat anyone.

A good shake, some magical words, a nice spray around the bedroom (smells alright!) and no more talk about monsters.

See how it goes again tonight.
:)

[Karena]

:2lol that's sound great Chelle.
Love the cinnamon

[Hailstorm]

Great!!! Whatever works!!

[jodiemiller]

I sooo want to meet your little guys. That sounded magical!

[michelle_j_r]

Jordy was excited when he remembered the spray before bed, even did a little dance. I almost had equipment failure though! The spray bottle has seen better days and did not puff out in a nice spray when i pumped! LOL! But we could smell it so it worked. Plus the sillysauraus is here at the moment and dinosaurs would not let monsters in anyway.
:)