Incorporating ritual into our lives

[Mercurious]

How do you do it? Is it a seasonal celebration? Christmas? How you make your tea? matching your pegs?

DO you take comfort in something that always remains the same despite so many things around you changing?

I remember I used to love the Christmas tradition DS and I had of staying at Manly each Christmas eve, a Shakespeares pie for dinner, and the zoo for Christmas day. No matter what changes happened during the year we knew Manly and the Komodo at the zoo would be waiting for us. It was nice ending each year the same. It gave a time to reflect on Christmases past.

I will take delight in returning to our little tradition again this year, like everything is back as it should be.

[mama_bel]

Wow, that's a great tradition, Bec. Enjoy your trip!

We do the seasonal table 4 times a year and a Christmas version some years too. We put up photos in the magnetic frame above the seasonal table, and birthday cards, of the birthday person in our house each time. Our birthday person chooses the evening meal and type of cake they most want, and to a degree how to celebrate their birthday.

I love how cooking is seasonal - autumn brings lots of harvest for jam making, winter is for soups, summer for raw food and picnics...

We have a blessing "Earth who gives to us this food, sun who makes it ripe and good, dear earth, dear sun, thanks we give to you each one. Bless this meal. And bless the hands who made it." We say that before our evening meal (usually one of the younger children say it).

Even chore rosters, "teeth, toilet, drink, bed" and other daily routines enhance our lives, I think. It's like we're all looking after ourselves and each other. :)

[Phoenix]

Oh I do love the washing hung out with the same type and same colour pegs!

These are great rituals!

[Kali]

hmmmm good question. I think this might be what is lacking in our house at the moment so I will be watching this thread for ideas.
We do Christmas and Easter. Christmas Eve we always go to see the Christmas lights with one of the grandmas. The kids and I were feeling excited the other day imagining Ashley at his first Christmas lights this year.
Christmas morning we open our presents one at a time slowly so everyone gets to witness each others presents.
Easter we go camping. This is a new tradition but one we intend to do every year.

What else?
You can't have a cuppa at my house without me doing a card reading for you. Does that count?
We eat dinner at the table each night.

I think we are lacking in this area. Not very spiritual at all. Not really thanking anyone for anything.
I am definitely going to be watching this thread for some ideas.

[Phoenix]

I am with you Kali, other then the pegs and an odd obbsession with the way the butter is scraped out of the container, I have nothing.

[Merlion]

Untill Jess was born (actually only difference is we don't stay over anymore) the tradition was to go to my parents place on christmas eve (okay this happend even when i was growing up) we go to my parents house and we all go to children service, then go back to my parents for supper of muligatowny soup and eurasian chicken pie, watch carols by candlight and then open presents at midnight and go to bed (but since the kids were born go home after supper and come back in the morning for present opening).

This tradtion was started years and years ago. when we were growing up we went to my granny's on christmas eve after my parents finished work and picked granny and whoever needed a lift to church go for mass and come back and have supper and wait till the rest of crew who might have gone to midnight mass (granny lived with my dad's brother and wife and their 6 kids) then we all will sing some christmas carols wish everyone and head home. where santa would have come and open my pressies (we used to have a 7am start in the morning to start our christmas visiting

[michelle_j_r]

apart from a few unusual christmas traditions (like having Blueberry Hill playing really loud when we go to the tree!) i don't have much in the way of seasonal traditions.

To help the kids with bedtime we do have a "do your wee, brush your teeth, put on your nappy, warm up the bottle, go nigh-night" type rituals that involve a special "bum" where J does a particular stance like "bridge" bum or "spider" bum that he has made up which is funny for us but all rather serious and important for him...

I would love to have more relaxing rituals like a special break for a cup of tea, or perhaps a special story time etc but it would take me to implement it and i am too unorganised to do it! LOL!. Oh, we do have a wall hanging with the day of the week and the season and the weather outside which we change each day and Jordy will run in there and change it to windy etc if the wind picks up so i like that... and i suppose he has started his own ritual of collecting the eggs but nothing earth-shattering...

[Donna]

I did used to have routine/ritual.

One step at a time, not making myself overwhelmed at so many things having to be done was my key.

Now though, I have fallen through the cracks with it.

Me thinks I need to look at life and see where I can start again.

[spiralgirl]

i think ritual is really important and spiritually grounding.....but im crappy at maintaining it ( is it 2 weeks of repetition you need to create a habit??)

almost every day I am home for the day I light candles and incense on my Buddhist Altar....i sometimes also say mantras, and chime the Ting Sha ( cymbals) but usually just the offerings....Im so lapsed, I used to do much more....

every morning its dogs outside, chooks out, check for eggs, feed chooks, check on vegie gardens and then breakfast....its not really a ritual, but it has meaning for me to say good morning to the animals and plants ! Id also like to add a morning chai to this routine! ( im planning to start that soon )

I also ritually lock up the chooks at night and pat them and say goodnight to them ( that is handed down from my mother, she told me how lovely it is to pat them at night like that- they are quiet and sooky and it makes them more tame to handle them...and i find it very calming)

i also feed the plants with my moon blood, thats spiritual for me.....and i try to make sure that i say hello to the moon every full moon....i usually go outside by myself and just quietly say hello


every year we have our ritual of a pilgrimage to Woodford Folk Fest - its our family tradition and we rarely miss it, it has many rituals within it as well ( like the sunrise ceremony to welcome the first dawn of the year.....)

ummm what else..... we dont really go too far with Xmas and easter, its more bout being with family for us then.....we also have the tradition ( from my family) of taking photographs of sleeping kids on Xmas eve.....

id like to incorporate more ritual but honestly I find it pretty hard to be organised enough in my life.....

I also want to start making the occasional pre food gratitude more regular ( saying thanks to daddy for working for the money to buy the food, thanks to the farmer that grew the food, thanks to the person that cooked the food ( usually me, but I also include Tahleya if she helped prepare it) and also thanks to chooks for the eggs if we used them.....I find it helps us be more mindful of how lucky we are....along the same lines as the one that Bel mentioned ( thats a Steiner one isnt it Bel?) but more casual....

[Nyree]

Pegs :yes

There's DD's night ritual of get changed, brush teeth, story, sleep.

I like to play my Christmas CD's when decorating the tree.

There's weekly things like library on Thursday, gymnastics on Friday - and DD seems to get a sense of rhythm from that.

Apart from that, we're more 'go with the flow'. I have been wondering if more ritual might work for DD & have been planning to structure the days/weeks a bit more so DD & I get to do more creative stuff together.

[emd]

Lots of ritual in my life. I blame my Catholic upbringing.
For myself, there is a specific day each (which has just passed) where I reflect on my life and what I need to do to improve and be happier in myself. I also like to match my bra to my undies (even putting them away together so they don't get separated), match the pegs when I hang out washing, and have a morning reading habit online before I start the day's work (the modern day equivalent to my old habit of reading the papers in the morning).

For my family, we have daily routines. There are Christmas traditions with extended family, but I'm also hoping to establish some of our own. Not in a forced way, but things should naturally develop over the years.

I have rituals with my partner, like Go To Bed Early Night.

[Rinelle]

I'd love to have more ritual in our lives, but it seems to be objected to by my little miss. We've tried to have a 'go to the zoo for her birthday' ritual, but that one seemed to die this year, when having cake and a party at grandma's was more urgent. I try to get a morning and evening ritual going, but we're struggling a bit to find the best arrangement of tasks in the morning. Do we get outside and care for the animals etc first, which works great until DD gets hungry and loses it, or do we eat first, and then seem to struggle to get outside? I'm sure we'll get there eventually though.

I used to do the peg thing, and just now realised that I don't anymore. Wow. Weird.

[Mercurious]

It's OK Phoenix I've got the peg thing too. I have now simplified things by buying all new pegs, one bucket of red, and one bucket of blue. It really cuts down hanging out washing time. I also try to jsut not use any where possible.

ON my children's birthday I always play Stevie Wonder's "Happy Birthday to ya" it makes me want to cry with pride, DS just gives me a "Oh Mum do you have to?" look, and tells his friends "She does this every year". But I know he'd be upset if i didn't.

I like your pre dinner blessing Bel. It seems we are either brought up saying a reliogious thanks, or no thanks at all. It's nice you are teaching gratitude this way.

[Beckstar]

We do the Stevie Wonder Birthday song too, Mercurious!

We used to have a lot more ritual in our lives, however since I've been studying, things are a bit more fluid. My girl and I definately have a bedtime ritual and I think it is a favourite part of the day for both of us.
I also have a "feed the animals while drinking chai" morning ritual for myself, I will often sit in the veggie garden to finish my tea after the animals are fed and marvel at my garden.
There is also the "take the dog to the park" afternoon ritual which we both enjoy.
We celebrate the seasonal festivals with family/friends when we can.
My moon blood goes on the plants (like spiralgirl) and I too try to get outside to greet Mother Moon when she is full, but anytime really.

[indigomumma]

The timing of this thread is quite appropriate for me. Thank you to everyone for sharing their home rhythms here. We use alot of rhythm in our home, and it is something we have been particularly mindful of and expanding on of late.

Before having Chilli, we didn't really have alot of rhythm as such in the home, of course there were things we did for certain celebrations etc, family rhythms. But since having bubba, and being inspired by Waldorf parenting, we have used rhythm alot in the home. I find it really nourishing. They say it provides the child an environment that creates familiarity and preserves their 'dreamy' childhood consciousness, but I think for parents and children alike it is wonderful. I think daily rhythm, weekly rhythm and rhythms within our year create beautiful memories for children and precious times for us to hold dear as well. Even if children may gripe a little sometimes at certain things, as some have mentioned, it is that sense of family and reverence that we are modeling and instilling in their soul that grows with them. As adults they will look back with such fondness at this foundation in their lives. It will provide such strength for them to build their lives upon.

Our day follows a pretty flowing rhythm and within the week we have rhythm; monday washing day, tuesday friends day, wednesday craft day, thursday washing again, friday baking, saturday family day and sunday ironing day. Every day we have outdoor free play and morning walk with verses and morning candle etc. Each activity follows the same activity it did the day before to provide Chilli with that nourishment of familiarity.

We celebrate alot of Festivals through the year and each one brings certain activities in preparation, anticipation and the actual celebration. I think this is nice for the child and for ourselves to identify with these activities. For example on Dec 1, the first day of Summer and the first day of Advent, we go to a local beach and have a picnic - celebrating summer. We collect spinifex grass 'stars' to hang from the ceiling as part of our Advent festivities - it relates to an Advent story we tell. We also collect natural treasures from the shoreline to fill our 12 days of Christmas boxes which are presented to the baby Jesus over the 12 days of Christmas from the three wise men. We use alot of story in the home during our Festivals.

I guess I am quite passionate about this in our home because I have read so much about how nourishing rhythm and tradition is, and I have seen the beauty it brings to Chilli as well as ourselves.

I also do alot of quirky things (some may call them being very particular), but when I hang the washing out for example, we have a Hills Hoist four section line. I have one section for ironing items, one for towels, washers etc and one for folding. The other section is filled by whatever we have bulk of. The ironing can be all jumbled as it goes into the basket for ironing (but when it goes in to the basket it gets sorted into either the heavy or light basket! So I iron the light basket and then turn the iron up and iron the heavy stuff!) But when hanging the folding, each persons things are hung together and then all the 'bits' are hung together, socks matched up, all singlets together etc. All washers are hung together and tea towels together. DH says it is too particular, I just find it more user friendly when taking the washing off the line/folding up and putting away! But now that I type it here, it does sound a little particular. But that's the way I feel comfortable and life feels like it flows well when I am organised!

We use alot of candles, verse, blessings for meals etc in the home on a daily basis and I think this is really nourishing and creates great reverence in the child as well as giving a feeling of true appreciation for how blessed we really are in our lives.

[Phoenix]

After reading a few posts I have got a lot more rituals then I thought, but most of them are around how my childrens day is conducted, I have noticed that I don't take enough time to appreciate the smaller things. Thank you for this thread, it is an important factor that I am missing out on.

[indigomumma]

Phoenix, I think you bring up a really good point - children are so in tune with so much more than we are mindful of. We just go about our day doing what we do - but there is so much ingrained rhythm within us that we are often not consciously aware of it. But these essences within our being, our children subconsciously see and are nourished by. I think we each do much to provide reverence, ritual and rhythm to our children, we just may not be aware of it because it is just in essence, who we are! :)

[Kali]

Yes I can now see more ritual in my life as well.

We go to High Tea for my daughter birthday every year.
I do a meditation with my children every night when they are going to bed when we are camping.
I say hello to mother moon every full moon
I hold a blessingway for my pregnant friends.
I drop meals around to anyone having a baby or a hard time.
Every holiday, except the winter ones, we go camping and get back into natures by trying to do everything as self sufficiently as possible. It is always near water as well. I spend lots of time meditating with the flow of the stream, tides or waves.
On their birthdays, I spend the day at school with my kids.

I think I would benefit from doing more daily rituals or weekly. My rituals seem to be very spasmodic, spur of the moment, rather than thought out.

I would like to do a thankyou blessing for our meals.

[Nyree]

I have now simplified things by buying all new pegs, one bucket of red, and one bucket of blue.

OMG! I could not do that....I need to match the peg colours to the clothing colours :rofl


I hold a blessingway for my pregnant friends.

I'm coming to QLD for a Kali blessingway when my time comes ;)

[Kali]

Your on! You know I will hold you to that! :rules I just hope it is soon :love

[soulmama]

I'm coming to QLD for a Kali blessingway when my time comes ;)


Your on! You know I will hold you to that! :rules I just hope it is soon :love
Oh yeah!

:yipi

:heart

[Natenimiri]

I LOVE RITUAL and I love this thread! I have lots of ritual at home but would love a place where we could have communal ritual and sharing but it is hard to find - especially one where the kids are welcome to join in.
I have been to many churches and meditation groups and it is hard to find something for the WHOLE family (including kids). any thoughts?

[Nyree]

You know I will hold you to that!

Dh has already been warned ;)

Sorry for the hijack people - carry on :)

[mrs fox]

Everymorning when I get up, aroud 5am I make a coffee, pour the boys a hot milo and then sit on the computer for a bit. Then i can start the day.

Friday's when Ryan comes home early from work we sit outside witha bit of beer/vino and burn some incence to relax and discuss what we will do on the weekend. Followed by Friday night pizza night and the boys ge to play xbox and have a later bedtime.

Birthdays are that persons day to pick meals, what to do for th day etc.

Xmas depends on where we are for the day, but the boys get to eat whatever they like that day.No time schedules or excessive rules.

My daily ritual is bread on, kitchen cleaned, washing on and out n the line, chooks fed and watered.Normal stuff.