Choosing an IM

[Bubly]

How did you go about choosing a midwife?

I'm planning a home birth, and just met a team of 2 middies, both seemed lovely. I also have the middies I used for DD in my mind, they were good too. Now I just don't know how to choose between them all. Usually I would go by feeling, but they all feel fine - noone is terrible, noone is amazing.

The middies I met today are quite a bit cheaper than my previous ones, so I'll probably go with them but I need to choose a primary carer out of them both and neither of them is 'speaking' to me loud and clear, I'd really be happy with either. Maybe I'll flip a coin? Seems a flippant way to deal with a big decision though!

Arrggh, what to do, what to do :blink

[jodiemiller]

I think it's good not to have a personality dominate. That means *yours* is the dominant personality, as it should be in this situation.

Which duo is the most experienced? Which duo have had to do emergency transfer and what are their caesar rates? What sort of post-natal follow-up do that offer contractually? Do either duo have a mother-network you can tap into for post-natal support of a more social nature?

Those sorts of things would be *my* points of difference? Depends what *you* value in the services they provide, which could be quite different. :)

[milkymumma]

Are there differences in the pairs in the way they view variations from textbook? Eg, postdates, interesting presentations, very long labour...

Do any of them have their IBCLC?

How close to you do they live?

How does your DH feel? Will he be comfortable being intimate with you in labour with certain women present more than others?

[Bubly]

Great questions to think about, thank you.

I find it really difficult to come up with and ask these sort of questions in early meetings, but I know it's necessary.

Hmm, thanks you've got me thinking...

[milkymumma]

How's this going, Bubly?

[Bubly]

Thanks for asking MM.

Well, I was going to go with the less expensive option, for a number of reasons, and so I decided to let my original IMs (from DDs birth) know because I didn't want them to hear it on the grapevine and think I'd had a problem with them. Anyway, they came back to me saying we should talk, and have offered to match the new IMs price!
I think I'd convinced myself it wasn't a big deal who I had at the birth, because I have quick, straight forward births, pretty much get along with anyone etc etc, because I just couldn't justify the huge price difference, but now that I know my original middies will be there I feel a weight lifted off me. I'm really excited and relieved. :D

[milkymumma]

Isn't it wonderful how these things work themselves out? :)

[SpringMumma]

Brilliant news Bubly! How wonderful to have that continuity of care from one bubba to the next too.

[jodiemiller]

Yay! It's nice to have that continuity, and to not have to build a new relationship. :)

[Bubly]

Thanks ladies! I'm surprised at how relieved I am actually. I think it was very much meant to be.

First appointment Monday, so I'm looking forward to catching up with my middie and really start to connect with this baby.