Creating a sense-friendly car space

[evolving]

Hi Mummas,

I'm new here and have a burning issue right now, so I'll just jump straight in and ask for some suggestions :) (hope you don't mind!)

We are a Waldorf inspired family and I am really conscious now of the need to protect dd's senses and, in so doing, spend less time in the car. After thinking about the effects of being in the car for my little one (15mths), I have managed to greatly decrease the amount of time she spends cooped up in the back seat.

The trouble is that we live aprox 2hrs away from family, so every now and then we really need to make the trip to see them. I've thought about cutting these trips down, but feel this would really compromise some really beautiful relationships. They all make the effort to travel over to see us, and while I feel they could perhaps do some more of this so we could strike a balance between the two parties, we still need to make the odd inevitable 2hr journey (through the city and the busy dense traffic).

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to make Aria's space in the car more welcoming for her and how to decrease the assault on her senses? I feel such dread every time we need to take these trips and perhaps need to work on that so that I don't take such a negative energy along to add to the mix!

I sing lots to her (have even started to lose my voice on occassion - it's a long time to keep singing!) and have thought of making regular stops - but am not sure if these really helps at all. :sad After about 1/2hr the poor little thing just hates it and I'm a bit stuck as to what to do about this 'inconvenient modern convenience'! I'd love to hear about what others have done in similar situations :)

With love,

[moo]

I always used to try to time trips to my folks place (just under 3hrs) to coincide with times where they'd be sleeping. Even now, we will often give them an early dinner then head off cos they'll tend to snooze most of the way if their bellies are full. hth

[jodiemiller]

Same here. Time it for sleep.

But can you explain to me how car travel is an assault on the senses? I would have thought it to be rather a deprived environment (aside from the exterior whizzing past - is that what it's about?).

[jodiemiller]

Oh, should mention what a girlfriend of mine did. She made a mobile with family photos that hung above the baby seat. Figuring that babies respond to faces most, she put all the extended family on it. She rather lovingly put each photograph/portrait into a little pillow.

[SungaiKecil]

Another one who times travel for sleep. Often, if I am heading south to my Dad's place I'll make it an overnight trip so that we aren't in the car all day.

[evolving]

Thanks for the replies - all wonderful pieces of advice :)

Jodie, I've just re-read my original post and realise that maybe it wasn't clear enough - sorry! I'm not sure if I can explain exactly what I mean by having time in the car affect the senses. Maybe another Steiner/Waldorf inspired Mum could do a better job as I'm not terribly adept at putting things across clearly at the best of times! Basically, what stands out to me is that being in a car isn't at all a natural environment and that a human being isn't born equipped with the context and knowledge needed in order to assimilate such an atmosphere. I (and Waldorf parents) believe that being in a car too much can 'awaken' a child too soon, thus affecting the nervous system and other sensory faculties (of which steiner pointed out, there are 12). I also worry that Aria isn't close to me and that I'm pretty unavailable to her and out of tune with her when focused on driving. For a youngun it must be a pretty strange experience sitting face-forward, strapped in and with your Mum's back to you for such a loooong time.

I understand that lots probably don't share my views and maybe I should have stated my question more clearly? Like I said, someone else with greater knowledge may be able to describe what I'm getting at with more ease!

Thanks again for the feedback :)

[emd]

Our back seat is chockas with the three kids so they hardly ever sleep on trips anymore. My mum is 4 hours away, and I've always LOVED road trips, so we do a lot of driving. Sometimes I put the kids in the car for a 3pm Friday drive just because it calms frayed nerves.

What do we do in the car...
* Eat. But only at normal eating times, and I go for healthy food that is easy to clean up (eg sultanas, sandwiches, fruit bars).
* Sing along to favourite kids songs on CD, or listen to a CD story (the older kids get to read along with the book).
* Drawing with crayons - texta is likely to end up decorating body parts or car seats.
* Magic erase drawing boards - you know, the magnetic ones.
* Conversation. My fave, but only works with kids old enough to have a chat. The girls ask all their tricky questions, or tell me their deepest thoughts, when we're in the car and there's no other distractions to stop the conversation.

[michelle_j_r]

you could cover the window with a coloured scarf.
but i would also time it for before a day nap ( i imagine at 15months she still has a good day nap?) and then breastfeed her before the journey.
if she is in a good car seat then i think the cocoon-ing shape of them should be quite soothing... and i don't think a 2 hour journey ever now and again is anywhere close to being "too much"...

[Kali]

fak
i think the sleep solution is the best but another suggestion would be to make the trip predictable and familiar.
can you sit next to here. maybe read some favourite, very familiar books.
we have the same playschool cd we put on for long trips.
have toys that are only for the car.
block out the windows.
have the same pit stop each time.

familiarity breeds contentment.

[indigomumma]

Hey Melissa, I think you did a great job of explaining the whole 'awakening ' issue of car travel. I also just wanted to add that I think that because (in Steiner beliefs) the young child under 7 lives so much in the will and needs to be 'doing' that the car trip is very restrictive and restrains the child from being able to 'do' with their full body as is most optimal.

What Jodie mentioned I believe also to be true - the 'wizzing' past of other cars etc and the general 'busy-ness' of being out of the nurturing home environment is very awakening for the child. We too have been very mindful of this issue over the past few weeks since having this issue brought to our awareness more fully (I should confess here that evolving and I know each other from another forum of Waldorf parents!) anyhoo - we too have been revising our weekly rhythm and minimising our trips out. I have to say, when we popped out the other afternoon with Daddy, I felt really 'awakened' myself, so I can only imagine how it felt for Chilli, knowing that the child is a whole sense organ that takes EVERYTHING in totally unfiltered. It is in our incarnated adult consciousness that we are able to 'block' and filter the sense impressions we receive from our environments.

Melissa, I have found in longer trips, Chilli is much more comforted if I am sitting in the back with her. Even on short trips now, she will ask for Daddy or Mummy to sit in the back with her. I love the ideas of the silks or soft muslin scarves draped around to soften the sense impressions - perhaps using some of the colours recommended for over the crib in the first six weeks would be nourishing, I forget how Steiner referred to the colour, was it 'peach rose' or something - anyway, it is a soft blue and pink cloth over each other I think - you can check this in rahimas book, 'you are your childs first teacher'. And as someone else mentioned, with your mindfulness to the situation, the occassional trips you take are really not going to be, IMO, too much for Aria. I do believe there is also a certain element of 'being' within the world that cannot be avoided for the child. You are very mindful in every other way, so these trips I think would be fine for Aria.

much love xxx

[Nyree]

Do you have a mirror so you can make occasional eye-contact without having to turn around? You can buy concave mirrors for that purpose if not.

Record yourself singing songs for those times your voice gives out?

Anything familiar from home she can play with?

Timing with sleep is great. We did that a couple of times recently when driving interstate.

[evolving]

Thanks for the input Mummas - much appreciated. Love the idea of the silk scarves, and maybe some natural fibre blankets/pillows. It's not always possible to leave at sleep time, but I can probably try and do this more often too. Will certainly give those suggestions a go - thanks heaps:)

[Stardust]

I've been reading this with great interest. I unconsciously did a lot of this with M when she was young. She hated the car and we couldn't go more than 20mins away for the first 6 months of her life. I hated that she wasn't with me, that I couldn't respond to her. I can't do the same with poor R. She gets dragged along to and fromkinder 3 times a week, and out to do the shopping etc. I do like the scarf idea and Ilove the family photos idea. That's lovely! Young children spending so much time in a car concerns me, but I'm not sure there;s any way to prevent it...

[emd]

I guess it depends on your home environment vs car environment.
For us, home is noisy, messy, and constant noise and chaos. Three small children, a parent who runs their own business and does too much volunteer work (my kids have taken phone calls from radio producers and are no longer excited about having their pic in the papers), and dad who loves to be sociable with extended family.
In contrast, the car is not as messy, noise is limited, there's no random phone calls or people turning up, and mummy is not distracted when they want to talk to me.

[Aine]

shit my kids are senorsory stuffed then we travel to adelaide and back again 4 sometimes 5 times a yr its an 800 km trip... so i will read more into this to see if i can repair demage...

[mama_bel]

Sleep time is a great idea, if you can manage it. Do you have to do the 2 hr trip back again in the same day? Do you travel alone with Aria?

I used to hang playsilks and scarves (http://spiralgarden.com.au/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=8_12) from the window closest to our little ones when they were babies. Choosing the right music and/or stories makes a big difference to the atmosphere in the car too.

Best wishes finding a solution. x

[Lee]

I found this thread/idea really interesting... no advice, but this is something that as an adult I struggle with and most people don't understand it. I hate being in cars. It used to make me physically ill... not motion sickness. Something different. I always put it down to the fact that it was so unnatural to us as organic beings to be shut in with all that synthetic stuff.

I have a real aversion to the idea of putting my baby (if i ever get to have one) inside a car at all... but I guess at some point it will need to happen. I'm taking these ideas to heart...

[emd]

Lee, depends where you live. I was in inner-city Melbourne for a while and never used the car, so I sold it. Caught trams and buses everywhere, did lots of walking, and yet still got to feel grass under my feet as Collingwood Children's Farm was just down the road (organic community vegie gardens, horses, goats, pigs, and lots of animal poo).

[Savannah]

Some wonderful suggestions.

We play music, take favourite things and healthy snacks. DD never slept in the car, but DS will.