Learning to trust the system

[Banjo]

This is where my obsession is currently at. Education.....My eldest is in Prep this year and my second child will start school next year. I am having trouble having faith in the system and I don't just mean mainstream I mean anything! including myself!. I have already pulled my son from a mainstream and put him into a Montessori stream, although I can see some great stuff happening, I have problems with that as well. I need to let go and have faith in it all but I'm having a hard time doing it. I just want to walk into a school and go this is it! I am at peace in sending my kids here, but I haven't felt it. I'm not going to keep trying everything under the sun it's too traumatic on all of us and I'm not going to homeschool (not for me).
Do you love your school, is the school system good, do your kids love school (most importantly), what do you think makes a good school. Was it hard for you to hand your kids over and have faith in the way they educate or am I truely the drama queen I fear I am becoming??!!!

Banjo

[emd]

No school is going to be perfect. But if the basic principles suit your child, and you can talk through any difficulties with the teachers, then it will be a good experience. That's how it is for me, anyway.

I think I had an advantage in school starting in that my first two babies had already spent overnights with grandparents by fifteen months, and a couple of days a week in childcare by five months. So I already accepted that there would be other influences in their life, and that other people who genuinely love my children will do things different to me. I'm not saying that every mother should put their kid in care from the time they're babies. Just that it takes time to get used to other adults having responsibility for and influence on your child, so if this is the first time you've been through it then give yourself some time.

[boy wrangler]

I'm understanding where you are coming from Banjo, I'm going through a similar thing at the moment. My eldest is due to start prep next year and we're trying to decide on a school. It is really hard, and like you, I don't want to chop and change!

Like emd said, no school is going to be perfect but keeping communication open between home and school is key.

[Hailstorm]

I walked into my daughter's (soon to be my son's school :gasp) and literally felt 'this is it' instantly, the principal (who has since left, but the new principal is just as awesome) was just so goddam welcoming and all the staff were great, and that was just the tour!!!
My DD is now in grade 1 and I wouldn't change her school for anything, it's on the smaller scale of schools around here (we have 216 kids) and it really is a little community. My DS is welcome to go into DD's classroom and all the kids know him and love him, all the teachers go out of their way to come up and have a little chat.

I'm on the school council as well, which gives me a kinda behind the scenes look at it all, it also allows me to get to know the staff on a personal level, and they're all great.

Most of the Mum's are on the same wavelength (that spelling doesn't look right) as me, and we all get along great. DS goes to playgroup held in the school, and will be doing a beginning school program next term.

DD is absolutely thriving at school, she's so thirsty for knowledge and her teachers can see that and give her work that is challenging for her, every child gets rewarded for their effort, the principal has an open door policy.


Basically I love the school I chose for my kids :2lol

It was hard for me on the first day, but it got easier each day as I could see how perfect it was for DD. I well up when I think about DS going next year...what am I gonna do with all that time????


Good luck hun, it's hard

[lucylu]

Was it hard for you to hand your kids over and have faith in the way they educate or am I truely the drama queen I fear I am becoming??!!! You betcha it was hard!! It still is (mine are in year 1 &2).. and I walked into the school and go 'this is it!'.

I think it's totally natural to be tormented a bit by the idea of letting go. It's because you are attached, which is a good thing.

We had a few whole school meetings last year and one of the things we (parents) did was write down the top 5 most important things we wanted from a school. It was really amazing and affirming - the priorities were really similar. And for our community, academic achievement wasn't on many lists, and was certainly not #1 on anyone's list i don't think. And yet, when we have concerns, they are principally academic. So I have to remind myself that is not our priority. A school can't be all things... it must priorities, and being a community school ours should focus on the priorities of the community, and in general it does.

So to answer your question, our priorities are something like... we want our girls' school to be:
-very focused on social and emotional development
-non-competitive, without rewards or punishment (but with natural consequences)
-use restorative justice processes
-encourage independence and responsibility for actions
-allow each child to develop their learning in their own way

Strength and peace your way Banjo xx

[Bron]

I love our school - the teachers and support staff are fantastic. i had no issues handing mine over, i'm there most days anyway :) when niccola started preschool, rob was away at basic training for the reserves and xanthia was 3 months old. i wasn't really able to stress about her being in school, that would have done me in. but i'm not the sort of person who stresses very much anyway. i had faith in the school we'd chosen (we did change after justin finished preschool because i felt that school was too big).

[jodiemiller]

I think buying into 'school' is a culture shock. I certainly felt resistance in the beginning too. But you do sort of 'buy in' to the culture if you find a school that suits your family. I have always been an active group participant so P&C was the first 'to-do' on my list. Getting to know your kids' school from the inside out might help you decide whether you've found a good fit. Join the school P&C is my advice.